i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
