Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
As shirtless as possible
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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