Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
