you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
