her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
