I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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