I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
