Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
