I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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