Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Randomize
