I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So apparently I’m into choking now
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
