Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
