I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
