You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My bed is full of blood and feathers
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
