What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize