Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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