He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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