I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
