So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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