i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
