I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Alive.
So much puke
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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