U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
