Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
