This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
