I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
