What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
