shes about as inviting as chlamydia
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
