Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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