come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he puts the penis in happiness.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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