sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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