I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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