she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
