he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
