I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
