Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
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Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
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You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My butt remains clenched, sir.