I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
