How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
