she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
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