New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
