Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
