hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
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neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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