I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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