i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
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smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
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We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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