ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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