Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
