You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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