Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
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So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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