did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
