God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
