I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
