whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
