Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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