Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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