Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
