No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
