He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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