When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
