so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
