Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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