chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Im part way to drunk.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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