just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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